I love a New Year. Although you can choose to set a goal at any time of the year, most of us find ourselves making goals or resolutions at the start of a new year. I love it. It's like a blank slate. So to those of you choosing to start/continue/step up a healthy lifestyle -- I wish you well. If you are joining a gym, remember that it may be a little busier this time of year. Sadly, some of the volume you see during January will start to fade. Don't let that missing person be you.
As I look back over the past few years, I am so thankful that fitness is now a part of my every day life. It is not something that I take lightly, nor is it something I put on the back burner. I can say with confidence that going to the gym/being active is a part of my life. It is no longer a chore (well, most days it's not a chore). I enjoy it (for the most part.... ha). I know which things I love more and I know where I need to continue to grow. I am comfortable in the gym. I am comfortable going with a group or alone. I no longer get that feeling of "I don't belong here," when I walk in the door. I not only belong there, I deserve to be there. I deserve the time I put in there.
Looking back over the past few years I now know what my next BIG step needs to be. I have written on here before about nutrition and my very big food addiction. I have slowly been dealing with that over the past few years. It started with Lori at Fit Energy. She planted the seed. Without her being so gentle and understanding of that 370+ pound girl standing in front of her -- I would probably be over 500 pounds by now. She never let me believe that I didn't deserve to be where I was or couldn't do what everyone else did. Next came my PCOS doctor at We Care. This was the first time I sat down with a nutritionist and was given a "plan" for ME! Not just eat this don't eat this.... but a plan tailored to my weight, my goals and my medical issues. Did I follow the plan? NOPE. But I did begin to let the knowledge seep into my brain. I started to understand what a carbohydrate was, and that I NEEDED them. I began to figure out foods that would be considered a fat and those that would be considered a protein. I started to learn why I needed these things and that I should not be afraid of calories. I started to really believe that calories in vs. calories out is NOT the only measurement for weight loss and health in general. Next I started working with a personal trainer at Vent Fitness that also taught me a lot about food. Catrina was the first person that made me realize that food and my emotions were going hand in hand. I never once thought I over ate because of anything other than "I like food." I still didn't follow her advice, but I listened. I took in what she told me and I believed it a little more. I just wasn't ready to really deal with what I needed to in order to change. But I still listened and made small (ever so small) changes. She helped me more than I have ever told her on getting to the point of real change. She is the first person that made me start to question my real attachment to food. She is the first person that made me start thinking about the food I put into my body and how it is the fuel to the activity I partake in. I literally never thought of food as fuel. And even when she would talk about it, I didn't latch on to the advice; but little by little all of these people were peeling away the layers -- sort of like an onion, to help me get to where I am today.
My current trainer Chad, at SETS Training is peeling off the rest of the layers of that onion. He was brutally honest with me about getting to the bottom of my food addiction. As you all know from previous blogs, I started training with Chad because the only part of the gym I was not comfortable with was lifting weights; yet that was the part I was most interested in. My best friend Maygin was training with Chad and not only did I love the results she was getting, I loved WHAT she was doing. I wanted to dead lift. I wanted to bench press. I wanted to be that person that goes in the gym, headphones in and lifts heavy things. I know it sounds silly, but that is what I wanted. Now, I am doing those things and training with people who are following a very strict diet. Chad was able to pinpoint my macros (very similar to the nutritionist I see every month), but what I liked about Chad's version is he KNOWS how hard my workouts are and the effort I put in there. The downside to my nutritionist/doctor is that she only knows what I tell her. I can't explain to her enough the amount of work I put in at the gym, because quite frankly I do not believe she really believes the intensity of it. She is a great doctor, but people exaggerate so often to medical professionals that they have to take what you say as only part of the story. With all that said, what I am saying now is that I am ready. Chad has finally peeled away the final layers and I have NEVER believed something so much in my life. I know without a doubt I am going to be highly successful this year. I am not saying every day will be rainbows and butterflies, but I know without a doubt I am ready. Do I still love pizza more than anything? Yes. It is my favorite food, but I love myself and my goals more. Some days will be hard. Hell, this week wasn't even "easy" and it is just the beginning... but I know without a doubt my mind has finally accepted that I have a problem and no matter how much I work out, I will never reach the goals I have without changing this part of my life too. I have finally accepted that I can't take a short-cut and just like everyone else in the world I have to change in order to get different results than I have now.
For those that have reached out to me about what meal plan I follow or what my secret is.... I wish it was an easy answer. It took me TWO years to get to the mind frame that I am in today on January 3, 2016. It is not just as simple as saying just eat less.... or cut out bread. I am also not a nutritionist or an expert at any of this. I can only tell you that every penny I have spent in the past two years on getting to where I am right now in this moment is worth it. So take the time, money and drive that you have right now and invest it in YOU. If you need to know how to contact any of the people I have listed here, just let me know.
To those of you have played a role in changing my life. Thank you. I couldn't list everyone if I tried. This includes people at the gym, friends, family and even those that DO NOT believe in me. This includes the jack asses that made fun of me in school behind my back. Thank you for the role you play or played to get me where I am now.
Make 2016 a great one. No excuses.
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