Team Tight Pants

I joke that I am Team Tight Pants, because that is how I feel lately.  The gym part for me has really become part of a lifestyle, and recently I started training with Chad.  Lately I have found myself skipping workouts.  I can find excuses... that part is easy.  I am tired.  It's far away.  I need to get to work early.  It's dark.  It's cold.  I need sleep.  I am sore.  But guess what?  At the end of the day, those excuses are what are leading me to poor choices. 

When I signed up with Chad to have him train me, it was because I was looking for specific results.  I wanted to get stronger.  I wanted to lift weights and see the improvements in the weights I am able to lift. I have seen others with amazing results and I know the workouts Chad offers are exactly what I wanted to do.

The truth is I keep making excuses for everything.  When it comes to my workouts if I really wanted to make it a priority, I could go in earlier.  He is at the gym at 5am.  But when my alarm goes off at 4am, I literally want to cry.  I talk myself into going back to sleep and going to the gym later.  Then I go in at 7 and am not done until 8 which leaves no time for cardio.  EXCUSES.  That is all it is. 

I see other ladies (especially at SETS) that have WAY more responsibility that I do; but they are still committed to the gym and make it work.  These women look amazing.  We may not have the same goals, but I can say one of my goals is to find the commitment they have.  Not only to the gym but to the nutrition side.  I love to hear them talk about how hard it is for them to stick to the meal plan, because then I realize it is HARD.  But that doesn't mean it cannot be done.  I think often I think I am the only one who find it difficult to not eat pizza... or cheese.... or sugar.... but I am not that special.  These girls STRUGGLE... but they do it.  They fight the urges and it shows. 

I love SETS and love that I am surrounded by people that show me it can me done.  They are average people just like me.  They do not have any more or less excuses than I do... the difference is they are committed. 

So for me, I am making a commitment for one week.  Sometimes the big picture overwhelms me.  I have to break it down to small realistic, tangible goals.  So from Sunday to Sunday of this week I am committed.  What is that going to look like?????

Sunday:  Vent (Strike and Legs)
Monday:  SETS 7am for Weights and 8am for cardio
Tuesday: Vent 530am Stabalize and 6am Strike
Wednesday: SETS at 615 am for cardio and 7 am for weights
Thursday: REST
Friday: SETS at 615 am for cardio and 7am for weights
Saturday: REST
Sunday: SETS leg day

This is also going to look like a lot of chicken, fish, vegetables and eggs and WATER.  My water intake has been so not on point lately.

My focus is going to be on how much better I feel when I stick to the "plan."  It's going to be how much better my clothes feel when I know that I am doing all that I can. 

Please know, I love myself.  I love myself regardless of how on point I am in this lifestyle change.  But I know that I am happier when I am making healthy choices and when I have goals that I meet. 

The following week I will have to figure out a way to incorporate more boxing related activities into my schedule.  Hitting a heavy bag is one of my favorite activities.  I refuse to give that up.   I love the boxing type classes Vent offers, it's just difficult to fit them into my schedule.  The Vent location that offers my absolutely favorite boxing class is just too far away for me to get to on a regular basis after work.  And since I never get to sleep in, making the one morning class on Saturday at 7am is difficult.  I am thankful I can still get to strike every once in a while.  I am keeping my fingers crossed that Vent will offer a Tuesday or Thursday morning boxing boot camp class one day! 

Over the past two years, I have continued to challenge myself.  Fit Energy was my starting point.  I can't believe looking back, that I was nervous to take that first class.  I get teary eyed just thinking of how different I felt back then compared to now.  Then I went on to Vent because they offered Focus Master.  What I found at Vent was an amazing support group and great programs to boost my confidence and stamina.  Then I felt like to be completely rounded at the gym I needed to learn how to feel comfortable lifting weights.  Truth be told, that is the one part that I wanted to be successful at more than anything.  I still remember the man's face at Vent that gave me a hard time in the weight section of the gym.  One day, I will go back to the weight section there and show him how strong I really am.  I am so thankful for the new challenges SETS has brought to my life.  Now it's time for me to step up and take advantage of all that is in front of me. 

Doctor Update

I have talked a bit before about how I see a specialist for my PCOS diagnosis.  I actually really like going to this doctor, because for the first time I feel like I have someone who listens to what I am saying and how I am feeling.  I typically refer to this doctor as my "weight loss doctor."  This doctor could prescribe me weight loss medication as well as schedule a weight loss surgery if desired.  I do not desire either of those things.  I think the doctor is still shocked each time they discuss weight loss options with me and I decline.  They are happy that I do not want those things, but at times they fear I am going to get frustrated with my slow results and "give up."  I have assured them that will not happen.

I had missed seeing this doctor for a few months because I had a change in my insurance.  I also knew that the number on the scale had increased.  Until this week, I had always been down in weight each time I checked in there.  That was not the case this past week.

I weighed in with my doctor Friday and I was officially up 26 pound from my last weigh in.  I immediately started to cry.  Although I had been working pretty hard at the gym, I knew that my food had not been consistent for some time.  The doctor came in to talk to me and didn't even mention the 26 pounds until I started to cry.  He told me that although the number on the scale was up significantly, he said my fat percentage and measurements had not changed.  He asked me what I changed in my workouts .  I told the doctor that I recently started weight training.  My doctor told me that he didn't want me to think that food had not played a factor in the numbers on the scale; but he assured me that if I got back on track with my food that I should see phenomenal results.

I am still not thrilled with what the scale said.  I am still mad at myself, but the only thing I can do is move forward.  I am lucky enough to be surrounded by people who help me in so many ways on this journey.  I have really bad days.  I have really good days. Through all of them I have the best people around me to celebrate the good and kick my butt when I need it on the bad.  I need real people in my life.  The honesty that my trainer Chad gives and expects from me is something that I know is special.  He truly gets that I have an issue that I need to work through and is probably the biggest reason I know that I will conquer this.  Not only am I doing things at the gym now that I really want to do (weight lifting), he really has me checking myself mentally. 

Food issues are no joke.  Eating disorders are not only suffered by those who are thin.  I have an issue that I need to get to the bottom of.  I am working on it, but trust me when I say it is a work in progress.  Being open about this part of my life scares the shit out of me.  I do not know the underlying reasons that I turn to food so quickly.  I do not know when and how it started.  All I do know is that I want it to stop.

As I told my doctor, I work too damn hard at the gym to sabotage myself in the kitchen.

My doctor gave me a list of books to read that he thought would be helpful.  Right now I am reading "When Food is Love" by Geneen Roth.  We shall see if it helps in any way.

I also food prepped tonight.  This isn't all I made, but a glimpse at some of it.  I know without a doubt I can do this.  I want this, and I am willing to figure out the what and why of everything.  I need food to survive, but I do not need food for comfort, love, support or any other reason aside from survival.  I can get comfort, love, support and all other things from other avenues.  It's time to do that. 

 

Brussels Sprouts

Brussels sprouts are my favorite vegetable.  I love them so much.  So I thought I would share my recipe. 
First I trim the bottoms off of the washed brussels sprout.  Then I cut each one in half.  Next I peel as many of the outside leaves off as possible.  The reason I do this, is because as the loose leaves cook they turn very crispy (this is my favorite part).  I then place the the loose leaves on one side of a baking sheet and the rest of the vegetable on the other side.  I then drizzle olive oil on top and put a bit of garlic, salt, pepper and Ms. Dash on the vegetables.  I place the tray in the oven that is set at 350.  Depending on how many you have on your cookie sheet will depend on how long you have to cook them.  I normally do not have as many as I made tonight.  So typically I cook them for about 20 minutes.  I had a full sheet tonight and had to cook them for about 35 minutes.  You want to cook them until the loose leaves are "burnt" looking. 

Yum. Yum. Yum.