F You PCOS

I am having a ROUGH night.  Like crying alone on the couch night.  Nothing sparked this mood.  It came out of the blue.  I do not know how PCOS works in others lives, I only know what it does to mine.  Be warned, if you do not want to know about my very personal life... stop reading.  For me, PCOS shows it's ugly head in a few ways:

• I get cyst on my ovaries.  Sometimes they rupture.  It causes extreme pain. 
• I get facial hair.  Cute right.  It sucks.  I pluck EVERY day.  EVERY. DAMN.  DAY.  I hate having to worry about if someone touches my face if a random hair will be poking out.  I hate having to look at my face a million times a day in "just the right light...."  I hate it.
• I am insulin resistant and take medicine that makes me want to cry because it upsets my stomach SO BAD.
• I have to have a IUD (Mirena) or I have my period EVERY DAY.  That's right folks, without it I bleed EVERY. DAMN. DAY.
• The Mirena (IUD) is not in the right place.  So it dispenses the hormones, however it does not work as birth control.
• The medication I am on for the insulin resistance makes it "easier" for me to get pregnant.....
• DOWNFALL... It would more than likely result in a miscarriage because my lining is so thin.  FUN.
• My weight does not change easily.  I have been working out since August of 2013.  I have been working out pretty hard core for about a year..... I have lost 80+ pounds .... which I KNOW I KNOW.... it's a "great" number... but someone at my weight burning the amount of calories I do... should lose weight faster.
• I produce too much testosterone.  No, I am not a man (with a hairy chin and all my testosterone... I know it's hard to believe).  This makes me crazy at times.  My hormones are so freaking imbalanced.
• When I do have a menstrual cycle it feels like straight death. 
• I am losing my hair.  So.... I grow hair in places I do not want it.... and I lose it in places I want to keep it.  Fun.

A lot of people  think that PCOS is just a reproductive issue.  This is NOT true.  Even if the doctor removed my ovaries I would still suffer from PCOS.  Many doctors are leaning more towards the belief that it is a metabolic disease.  PCOS did not MAKE me overweight.  I did that.  I ate crappy food and didn't move my ass.  But NOW, it IS making my path to getting healthy much harder. 

So tonight, I am having a pity party for one.  Tomorrow I will be fine.  Tonight I want to punch PCOS in the fucking head.  No easier way to say it.  I know it could be much worse.  I am so extremely blessed with the life I have.... just tonight, I am mad.    It's real life folks.